I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
