I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
