Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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