I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
