he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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