yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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