I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I licked your asshole in confidence.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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