I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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