Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
