He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
