Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
