tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
