Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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