I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
