i permit you to call me
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
