Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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