Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
