Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
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A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So much Jack, so little girl.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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