Having a random hookup so left but love u
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
