So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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