These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
