were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.