dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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