the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
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Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
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He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.