i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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