Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
