do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
