I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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