I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
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I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
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He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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