dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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