ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
