We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize