Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
