It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
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drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
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She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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