so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
4 words: hood of his car
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
