I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
this is an emotional support booty call
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
