Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
