My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her