Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet

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  (248) I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet http://tfl.nu/r3zv
  Replies (4) Good night (1351) Bad night (844)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes

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  (610): I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes http://tfl.nu/8prz
  Replies (27) Good night (4414) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life

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  (304): you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life http://tfl.nu/wcmr
  Replies (12) Good night (6049) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat

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  (917): So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat http://tfl.nu/4q7b
  Replies (9) Good night (836) Bad night (5846)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  you would not believe what I got pierced last night...

  (540): View more from Virginia

  son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.

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  (434): you would not believe what I got pierced last night... (540): son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear. http://tfl.nu/q4w6
  Replies (61) Good night (1951) Bad night (6486)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.

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  (910): He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn. http://tfl.nu/hrhg
  Replies (18) Good night (8421) Bad night (1117)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now

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  (248): I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now http://tfl.nu/d0ke
  Replies (16) Good night (5273) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.

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  (513): I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud. http://tfl.nu/lhri
  Replies (10) Good night (1360) Bad night (1725)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.

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  (573): I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed. http://tfl.nu/ml69
  Replies (2) Good night (480) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?

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  (505): So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink? http://tfl.nu/kn1e
  Replies (15) Good night (919) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of

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  (306): my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of http://tfl.nu/jepn
  Replies (4) Good night (692) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  Pass or fail tho

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  (817): Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard (1-817): Pass or fail tho http://tfl.nu/htlu
  Replies (0) Good night (458) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.

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  (580): Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style. http://tfl.nu/uibp
  Replies (3) Good night (279) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?

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  (623): I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us? http://tfl.nu/w6tx
  Replies (5) Good night (578) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.

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  (202): Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way. http://tfl.nu/t0k2
  Replies (8) Good night (354) Bad night (1577)

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