i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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