Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?