This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
