Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules

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  (317): The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules http://tfl.nu/4e2d
  Replies (9) Good night (666) Bad night (899)
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  (323): View more from California

  I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.

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  (323): I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps. http://tfl.nu/nh7r
  Replies (6) Good night (1472) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.

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  (910): He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn. http://tfl.nu/hrhg
  Replies (18) Good night (8420) Bad night (1117)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  that would be two times in a week with two different guys.

  (913): View more from Kansas

  they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?

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  (816): that would be two times in a week with two different guys. (913): they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right? http://tfl.nu/b8ql
  Replies (21) Good night (4195) Bad night (1190)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.

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  (513): I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration. http://tfl.nu/lghq
  Replies (7) Good night (845) Bad night (2184)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.

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  (605): and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg. http://tfl.nu/8u14
  Replies (10) Good night (3944) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.

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  (845): He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up. http://tfl.nu/zpkp
  Replies (3) Good night (2659) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.

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  (850): i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today. http://tfl.nu/xq7h
  Replies (4) Good night (793) Bad night (1612)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.

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  (870): I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me. http://tfl.nu/cvaz
  Replies (9) Good night (2201) Bad night (1290)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.

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  (225): I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants. http://tfl.nu/c768
  Replies (0) Good night (1398) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house

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  (412): Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house http://tfl.nu/5tya
  Replies (7) Good night (1155) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom

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  (860): i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom http://tfl.nu/gild
  Replies (11) Good night (631) Bad night (2128)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.

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  (920): Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van. http://tfl.nu/upqb
  Replies (3) Good night (765) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.

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  (727): Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself. http://tfl.nu/eket
  Replies (4) Good night (491) Bad night (1381)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.

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  (613): I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun. http://tfl.nu/gqms
  Replies (2) Good night (235) Bad night (579)

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