did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird