Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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