theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Dignity is for republicans.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize