And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
