My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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