are you still at the devil's house?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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