Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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