I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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