I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My dick has a subreddit
Dick very happy bro
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
