at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
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You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
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I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm bleeding and have questions
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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