it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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