I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize