Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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