took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize