My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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