dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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