her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
