my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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