we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
