how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
