so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
