This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
