She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize