if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
