If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You dont lie about slip and slides
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
