I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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