Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize