Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
