if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
